I mean a huge reason why I overidentified with gay men in tv/movies as a teen and didn’t identify with a lesbian character until I discovered Fun Home was bc gay men are allowed to be gender non conforming in mainstream media. OF COURSE there’s problems this: “the sissy” stereotype, femininity in men being a punchline or punished, can be a shallow stand in for actual complexity ….but it EXISTED and I identified with the difficulty of being a man and not being to perform “masculinity” correctly. Most lesbian characters, if they exist, have no problem performing femininity and their attraction to women is just an accident that doesn’t seem to inform any other aspect of their character. Much to think about.
i was worried my cat is dehydrated because i never see him drink water so i’ve started leaving a cup of water that’s “mine” (aka he sees me drink out of it once before he does) in my room so he thinks he is being a rebellious naughty by drinking out of it but rlly he is just following my plan & being hydrated .
God in the Garden of Eden
Absolutely obsessed with the implications of this comment
the emphasis on ‘at least try to pass’ is killing trans people. the idea that 'trans people that don’t pass no matter what are just unfortunate outliers’ is killing trans people. if you keep selling people this idea of a future that could very well not reflect reality and you continue to sell young trans kids on the idea that once people read you as the gender you are you will finally find peace with your body, that cis people percieving you as a certain gender is the only thing that matters and will make your dysphoria go away, its lying and betraying an entire generation of trans people.
people who do not pass no matter what are not unfortunate sad outliers. they are the trans people you recognize on the street. they are the trans people you know.
i know it’s scary, the idea 'well if I don’t pass as a cis person then what’s the fucking point of being alive’ is SO present in younger trans people, but here’s the secret from someone on three years of testosterone:
i did not fucking transition for cis people. i did not fucking transition for them, or for anyone else. i did it for me. your transition is for you, and your own peace. if you approach transition with the ever future goal of “this will solve my relationship I have with my body” it’s going to kill you. there is no magical point that will make you love yourself or make your body your home. you have to move into it yourself. other people seeing the body you live in and agreeing that it looks nice and well kept will not change the rooms inside.
if your gender and your body is your home, then hormones and transitioning are paint and curtains. you are the one that lives there, and no one else. those things will not make your home a place you can live. they will help and they will make things easier. paint and curtains won’t fix the leaks in your roof no matter how much other people agree that it looks cozy from the outside.
You know, if Netflix wants to end shows after two seasons to move onto new material then fine. But they need to admit it and actually END their shows. Like. If you know you’re going to end your show then end it instead of making everyone angry and leaving it hanging. Tell the creators up front “you have 20 episodes in two ten episode seasons, that’s it” and let them go. It will make for better shows because the creators know what they have to work with, happier fans because the shows get real endings, and plenty of room for new material. Win win win all around.